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All That Glitters Isn't Gold - A Tale on Worthlessness


“I think the saddest people always try their hardest to make people happy because they know what it’s like to feel absolutely worthless and they don’t want anyone else to feel like that.”- Robin Williams

I love making people feel good about themselves. If you were to observe my interactions with those I love, you would see that I love to tell them how amazing they are via spoken, written, or texted communication.

I absolutely adore letting my loved ones know how much I value them and I am not afraid to tell people how I feel about them. In a world where there are no guarantees and where life is short, I truly believe there is no limit to how much you should tell someone how amazing they are and how much you care about them.

Why am I like this? There are many reasons but the one I believe that resonates most strongly is that I know what it feels like to feel utterly forgotten and worthless.

You probably wouldn't think it by looking at me. Hell, I probably wouldn't think it of myself if I were on the outside looking in. I have a great job, loving family, wonderful friends, awesome church, good health, and am in the best shape of my life. I'm literally in the best place in my life that I ever have been but even now, as I write this, I'm struggling with feeling unwanted. Unloved. Unsatisfied.

Even thought I have lost 18 pounds and counting, I feel overlooked. Even though I am the best version of myself as there ever was, I feel not seen.

Why is that? Because perfect does not equal happiness.

It doesn't matter if you had a cooler job, more money, better spouse, chiseled physique, expensive car, more behaved children, etc. It doesn't matter if you get what you want because in the end, you will always want more. Should that deter you from your goals? Heck no! But in the end, whatever your version of perfect is, if it is outside of God, it will not equal your happiness.

I honestly thought that now that I am the best version of myself that I ever have been in my 24 years of living that I would be completely satisfied in life. I have also learned that that could not be further from the truth. I still struggle with the same insecurity, the same depression, and the same feelings of worthlessness now as I did before. Others may not see it but that does not make it any less real to me.

That is why I hope that every interaction I have with those I love and even those I don't know makes them feel like they are worth something. I hope I always point others to find their worth in God as I am learning to do.

I hope this serves as a reminder to be kind to others and to also be kind to yourself. Learn to see yourself as a person who is "fearfully and wonderfully made" as it says in Psalm 139:14. Learn that even when you're at your "best", it still won't mean perfect happiness. Our souls were made for something more than anything on this earth and that is Jesus. He is the source of all happiness, worth, and love. Do not let a moment go by where that truth is not replayed in your heart as well in every interaction you have.

Jesus died for us because we are worth everything to Him.

Remember your worth and the worth of others today.

Cheers,

Sarah

 

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