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How I Lost 22 Pounds...And Why I'm Still Not Content

I can remember when I first started on my fitness journey.

I can remember slowly watching the scale creep up and up and up as my confidence went down and down and down.

I chalked it up to hormones, to stress, to travel, to whatever other excuse I came up with.

I can also remember going to the doctor for my annual check up and her casually remarking how she would like to see me closer to 15 pounds lower than my current weight which was 190 pounds at the time. Little did she know that her casual observation brought me to my knees. It's not exactly the greatest experience to have a medical professional tell you that you need to lose weight.

Fast forward about 6 months and I am now about 22.5 pounds down. I should be over the moon and feel so complete, right?


Don't get it twisted; I'm extremely happy. I feel like myself again for the first time in a long time. I achieved my goal of getting back to my healthy weight and then I lost even more. But, without even knowing I felt this way, I envisioned that my life would be completed if and when I lost that weight. Then I actually lost the weight and now...here I am. Life still is going on and reality has sunk in. Losing the weight was something that defined me for the better part of a year and even though I achieved my initial goal, I am still the same person inside struggling with the same insecurities as I did when I was 22 pounds heavier.

I think we all tend to do that in life. We think if we just made a little more money, if we just had a promotion, if we just were married or had kids or had that car or that purse or that status or that whatever, we would be the person we feel we should be. We feel like we could be complete.

That is so not the case.

I don't want to take away from the awesomeness of what I achieved. It took patience and discipline and hard work. At the end of the day, however, my life is not summed up to how much weight I lost or gained. I knew that in my head but I have finally learned that in my heart.

As a Christian, I believe that my identity is founded in how God sees me. Because Jesus died for everything bad I ever did and will do, I know God sees me as whole and perfect. I know that with my head but I often forget that in my heart. My fitness journey has taught me so much about life and health but also about the character of God. This is yet another lesson. I hope this sticks with yall and I hope it continues to stick with me. I will forever strive to incorporate fitness into my life but I

now know in my head and in my heart that it won't bring me ultimate happiness. Only God can.




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