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5 Things I Have Learned in 5 Months of Marriage


My wedding day was next to perfect. So much work goes into making one happen no matter how big or small and I have so much love and gratitude for those who made it possible for me and my husband. But at some point the wedding and honeymoon are over and it is just you and your spouse left to build a life together.

I am by NO means an expert on marriage but I have learned more about myself, my husband, God, and life in general in my short time of being married than I have in any other life stage. Crawford and I have already been through a surgery, job changes, financial hardship, stresses of home ownership, the death of a family member, and an anxiety disorder diagnosis since our big day. It has not been easy but I have learned some valuable things.

1. You're going to fight...and that's ok.

Crawford and I didn't live with each other before marriage and living with a dude is HARD work. We are also radically different and communicate in opposite ways. It wasn't long into our happily ever after that we began bickering ALOT and I thought it meant the end of us. I remember thinking at the very beginning "This is supposed to be the happiest part of it all. Something must be wrong". But, sweet friend, it's not. We talked with so many other wiser couples married for 5, 10, 20 years and they helped us see that fighting was a natural part of living life with another person. They also taught us how to fight well (aka how to communicate our differences effectively) and it truly has made a world of difference the longer we have been married. That brings me to my next lesson

2. Seeking outside help, counseling, and wisdom does not mean you have failed.

I don't know why it is that when you say you are going to counseling, whether as a family or individual, that makes people think the world is ending. Counseling and seeking help from those who have walked through what you are is such a beautiful gift. Crawford and I went through extensive counseling before we got engaged AND before we got married and we still actively consult with our trusted few on how to relate to each other. This alone has been a saving grace during these last few difficult months.

3. Have separate blankets!

This isn't a profound lesson but it is valuable one to me nonetheless. I am the worst person to share a bed with; literally ask any of my family or best friends. Crawford and I quickly found out that a way for us both to sleep well and prevent fighting was to sleep with our own blankets and then our comforter on top. (Also, I have a heated blanket as my husband likes to keep it subzero in our room. Another great fight preventative!)

4. It really can be like having a sleepover with your best friend!

As hard as it was to adjust living with a dude, it was a welcome surprise. I'm an introvert who loves spending time alone but being married has brought many fun nights of movies, silly conversation, and laughter. It is pretty awesome that the person who puts up with all my dirty laundry (literally and figuratively) loves to spend time with me and we get to have fun together for the rest of our lives

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5. Pray before bed.

No matter how hard the day has been, how bad we have fought, or how tired we are, Crawford and I always pray together before we fall asleep. When we got married, we made vows to bind our lives together and with God. Praying before bed is a special way that we get to live out those vows daily. It's also hard to be mad at someone when you are praying for and with them.

Sweet friend, whether you are wanting to get married, about to get married, or are married, I hope these lessons help you and encourage you. We have had so many people pour into our marriage and I hope you find the same whether single or married.

Cheers,

Sarah

 

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