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It Won't Last Forever

Wow it has been a hot minute!

My last post was made over a year ago and so much has happened since then.

Looking over my last few posts was very sobering. Last year, I became unexpectedly pregnant only to discover it was not viable and if medical intervention didn't happen, the pregnancy could be dangerous, even fatal, for me.

Although writing is a catharsis for me, part of me shut down after the last post. I threw myself into work and rebuilding myself and my marriage after the loss.

In the year since then, I had a healthy albeit horrible pregnancy and now have a beautiful baby girl (almost 4 months!) named Elise and the country has been subjected to political tension, racial unrest, and a global pandemic for the cherry on top.

There have been many times I have wanted to write about this last year and lessons I have learned through what is going on in the world as well as what was happening in my own world. Sometimes, though, there is too much going on that even writing can't help me process and it's all I can do to just get through each day.

However, if there are two things I have garnered from the last horrible, beautiful, exhausting, exhilarating year is this: God is always the same no matter what and it won't last forever, whatever "it" is for you.

I was reminded of these things this morning during my quiet time this morning when I was reading Malachi 3:6, "For I the Lord do not change". What a comfort!

The same loving, merciful, righteous, just, forgiving God who sent his Son Jesus to die for the sins of the world 2000 years ago is the same God today and will be the same God tomorrow. He is the same even when globally everything changed and shut down. He is the same even when people's relationships change over differences in political opinion. He is the same even when my daughter's mood changes at the drop of a hat or when her sleep schedule shifts yet again. He is the same in the happy and the sad, the good and the bad.

Which brings me to my second lesson: it won't last forever.

When I was crying in the bathroom stalls at work from the pain of losing my first pregnancy, the pain didn't last forever. When it felt like my second pregnancy and the constant nausea would never end, it didn't last forever. When my daughter's sleep schedule was so erratic and I was so exhausted, that phase didn't last forever. As I watch my sweet baby get bigger and learn more each day, I also realize the good doesn't last forever either. In the sweet moments, I hold my daughter tighter and kiss my husband harder and soak in the memory because it won't last forever. When Elise is inconsolable and I can't keep my cool or when 2020 feels like it can't get any worse, I breathe, pray, and remember it won't last forever.

In the good, there is sweetness because it is precious and won't last forever.

In the bad, there is hope because this too won't last forever.

And in both, God is always the same.

For that, I am grateful.




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